Your power over anger

Sometimes people’s anger feels far bigger than the disagreement or situation at hand. It can happen when a casual chat about differing opinions—or a lighthearted debate—suddenly spirals into a storm of frustration, raised voices, and sharp words. In those moments, the reaction seems out of proportion to the issue, and you’re left wondering, “Where did all this anger come from? Why can’t we just share our opinions without it turning into a fight?”

Let’s get real simple about anger: it often boils down to one thing—fear. When people get angry, it's usually because they’re afraid. Afraid of losing control, getting hurt, failing—fear shows up and anger becomes a shield. It’s the fight part of the "fight-or-flight" response, making you feel strong and in control while hiding the vulnerability of fear.

Think about it:

• Fear of rejection can turn into anger during an argument, as people lash out to protect themselves from feeling hurt.
• Fear of failure might make someone snap at others—or themselves—to avoid dealing with insecurity.
• Fear of injustice drives anger toward action, but sometimes it twists the way we see situations, making them seem worse than they are.

Social media makes this even more intense. It’s a space where fear and anger thrive because emotional reactions get rewarded with likes and shares. You see it everywhere:

1. Political Outrage: Angry posts about policies or candidates often come from a fear of losing rights, resources, or stability.
2. Cancel Culture: Fear of someone’s influence on society leads to public callouts and takedowns.
3. Hot Debates: Parenting, health, or cultural arguments about things like vaccines or diets often stem from fears about safety, stability, or identity.

This creates a cycle. Fear sparks anger, anger gets attention, and the feedback loop keeps spinning—distorting how we see each other and the world.

Ok, here’s the simple but important part: to break the cycle, recognize that you do have control over yourself; so don’t let your fear turn into anger. How? Understand that anger in others is often fueled by fear. Instead of reacting to their anger, try understanding the fear underneath. When you respond with empathy, it will change the whole vibe of the conversation - like immediately.

And if you want real wisdom, 1 John 4:18 says it best: “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear.” Loving others the way God does stops fear in its tracks—and with it, the anger. Remember that and you’ll have power over both fear and anger.